Enough, Already

I wasn't exactly shy about my feelings for Joe Girardi as the Yankee manager last season. I thought he was the wrong guy for the job when he was hired and he did nothing to change my mind throughout the season. I don't think he commands any respect in that locker room and, to be honest, he seems like a stooge to me.

I'm willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt heading into this season. He did face some tough hurdles last year, but the outright douchery must stop. Batting Jeter first and Damon second isn't really a consequential move. Personally, all things being equal, I'd like the guy with better speed in the leadoff spot, and the guy who is actually capable of dropping down a bunt batting second, but that's just me. The douchery begins when Joe starts inventing reasons for the move. Damon bats lefty, so he can pull the ball through the hole. Fine point, if Jeter wasn't among the best righties in the history of the game at punching the ball through that hole.

Rationalization number two, Jeter has a higher OBP than Damon. Well, if you're going by last season's numbers, that's completely false (.363 for Jeter, .375 for Damon). Number three, Jeter hits into too many double plays. Well, by moving him to the leadoff spot, you've ensured that he won't hit into a double play in the first inning of every game. Excellent. The only rationale that holds water is Damon's superior slugging percentage, which is really enough. Stop explaining yourself.

This is really an inconsequential matter, though. The biggest act of douchery Girardi has perpetrated is nicknaming Brett Gardner, "Gardy." This is quite possibly the worst nickname in the history of nicknames and if it catches on I will forever despise Girardi.

The Melk Man = Creative
Gardy = Uninspired
Tex = Convenient
Gardy = Lazy
Mo = Timeless
Gardy = Poinless
A-Rod = Trend-setting
Gardy = A diminutive manager desperately trying to be one of the guys when he's clearly about the fourth banana in that clubhouse.

Stick to following orders and lying to the press about injuries, Joe. Maybe you won't do more harm than good this year.